May 9, 2014

From happy to shit – just like that

It showed 3/4 full, but I should have charged the wheelchair anyway. Today was field day and with all the activity, it died on him. He’s essentially not allowed to walk at school except to the bathroom (and even then he fell yesterday and bashed his head on the floor), so his day was done when that chair hit red. I picked him up and went home. I was feeling like a shitty mom that morphed into sad mom that turned into mope-y mom.  Then I opened his backpack. His IEP paperwork is ready and waiting for me to read. I forgot about the meeting, so we did it over the phone this year. Worked for me EXCEPT that today I was broadsided by some of the information in the report. I knew it. But me knowing it didn’t prepare me for others knowing it. Does that make sense? His teacher is a sweetheart that treats him like her own. She calls me weekly to find out how he’s really doing and then she tells me how he’s doing there at school. I love her. So to read her report today sort of made me sad, because she KNOWS. She knows how he is and where he’s at medically and emotionally and to read that he’s breathless more and more  and it’s getting harder to hear him when he talks,  well that just ruins my day. We’re supposed to watch for shortness of breath. It’s a bad juju indicator for both the diaphragm and the heart. Either one could be causing it. Not good in either case. I just want to pretend I didn’t read it and then pretend that I hadn’t noticed it myself. I hadn’t ADMITTED it to myself though. I will call the doc on Monday and make sure his heart appt gets moved up and the lung appt is on track for this month, then I’m going to pray that a bag of money falls from the sky to pay for the appts since the fucking insurance is taking its sweet ass time.

And that’s my day. Lovely.

1 Comment »

  1. ((((((Ang))))))

    Wendy | May 10, 2014 | 2:56 pm

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