Hair it is. Hardy har.It’s not done yet. I still have to put the darker golden on it. But I’m waiting so my shit don’t fall out.

My washer stops agitating at the same time my dryer stops drying. Fantastic. Let’s hope Mr. MD can work some magic when he gets home. I need some magic. Bring on the magic.

My house is mostly clean again. Makes me feel better to not live in filth.

Went out to the Mardi Gras parade with MD and my mother and my aunt and my cousin. Wish I could say that I had fun. I got drunk. I got sick. I got a headache. I got some pills and got better. The End.

Pills have made me sleepy.

I want candy. I’ve lost two more pounds so I can’t have any candy. Boo.

Couldn’t work out this morning because my head was thumping. Have to make up for that this week.

Think I’m going to go lay down.

Busy Mom dusted off her search strings the other day and it reminded me that I haven’t answered mine in awhile.

stardust    - that’s the number one search term? huh?
f*cking walls    - ok
now thats what i call music – not sure how i can help
buying a house sucks    - yes it does
shakingdance    - you have me confused with someone else – i don’t dance
power rangers    - now this makes sense – guess what’s playing right now
filthy people    - i hate them too
fucking pills    - i hate them too
donkeyc*ck    - pardon?
bana bear    - is there possibly two bana bears out there? we have one
angie f****d moodymama.com – now that’s a little scary
power rangers operation overdrive – i must be the power ranger queen
gone michael grant review – that’s over at the review place – warning, it’s dusty over there
donkey dick – now come on
sexnada    2 – what is that exactly?
felix the cat bag of tricks – not going to find that here
big donkey dick    2 – i really need to watch my mouth
don t feed the dragon – i’m the dragon, bitch. feed me ice cream.
i ve had a stroke can t keep my checkbook balanced – sorry for your luck, how’d you get here again?
moody ocd – now that makes sense
how to firm up ass – when you figure it out, let me know
gee your hair smells terrific good or bad – i love that shit
what does your family talk about? – sex, drugs, pills, genetic disorders – the usual
friday the 13th part 9 deluxe edition – review side please
madagascar move the escape afro. – review side please
hey you out there on your own sitting naked by the phone – i’m not touching you. and if this makes no sense to you, look it up
i am tired of the bullshit – amen brother
moody mama pajamas – think you want that other site
pixar short films vol. 2 – review review review
let no bad happen – i say that too
donkey big dick – this is getting ridiculous
itchy tattoo – i remember that shit – sorry i can’t help – but i can’t wait to do it again
now christmas – shut yer face – xmas is over – let it rest for a bit – time for heat and shorts
to fly a kitten moodymama – what does that mean? i’ve never …. oh never mind
good boy good mom – is this something sick?
dont feed the dragon.org – are you serious? there’s a website?
going home behind the scenes with ben aflleck – how did you get here?
mary poppins broadway facts – i REALLY have no idea what you’re talking about
fuck over 60yo mom – now that’s not nice
finally human – amen to that
headache central – you’ve found the place
don t tell me ive gone crazy – it’s probably not a secret
i m so tired and moody help – aren’t we all
depakote how much it cost – quite a bit, and it makes you stupid – rethink please
deep clean one room each month – i like the sound of that – wait, did i say that once? must have been back when i was cleaning
big donkey dicks – who are you people?
how soon after chemo can i get a tattoo? – geezus, i don’t know. my sister might though. maybe she’ll answer.
don t tell me i gone crazy – i must have really been batshit before
dig cafe world    - i don’t play anymore – get out of here
i m so tired of this bullshit – why are you guys drawn here? do i bitch that much?
behind the scenes mary poppins broadway    - i never said shit about this. never.
moody momma s clothing    - that’s the other site. hello.
so you think you can dance get fit tone and groove – i gave this away. hope it works for you.
cant watch movies on abilify – i can’t either. makes me unable to sit still. it’s a bitch, but then again, why waste your life watching movies? life minutes you can’t get back.
moodimama – you’re ignorant
heart attack ackackackack – what the fuck?
moodymama really colds – this made sense to someone
twinkle wish adventure spanish    - made sense to someone here too
mary poppins just a spoonfull of sugar mp3 – i hate mary fucking poppins. go away
mr bean s holiday goofs    - ick
moody mama pajamas sale    - other other other site
now that s what i call christmas – is that a singalong? i bought one once and my kids fought the whole damn time it was playing so i took it and chucked it out the window. merry christmas.
laundry sucks – you felt the need to type that into a browser? what was going to happen? some magical fairy was going to pop out of your ass and do your fucking laundry?
mary poppins film techniques – go away i said
mary poppin secrets on broadway    - omg
mary poppins special effects secrets – omgomgomg – are you serious? have i ever said that shit? i need to go look into this. all these mary poppins people are being led seriously astray.
i hope things are well – thanks, but why are you typing that in the first place?
dont tell me your crazy    - i won’t then
i wish i could hibernate – did you know that they eat twigs and brush and dirt before they pack up for the winter so they don’t have to go to the bathroom for months while they sleep? digusting. you go right on ahead
donkeydicks – i just don’t know what to say
tired of slow ass dialup – you’re kidding right? show of hands – how many still on dial up?
gone michael grant – he’s gone alright – to the other site. move along
why buying a house sucks – cause it takes money , that’s why genius
what makes you pee yourself – you’re a dirty bird, aren’t you?
show secrets about mary poppins    - mary poppins was a bitch who secretly beat the children.
mary poppins musical secrets – omhell
silvermist iridessa rainbow – what?
door knobs and broomsticks the movie – i don’t watch shit like that
nice.com seacret cod for pengwin of madagas car game – hooked on phonics worked for me
folican user reviews – you lost me- you mean focalin? works well. now learn your meds
club crackers breading – i’d say just crush the sumbitches up
well now the thrill is long gone the feeling is all wronggot me feelin uncomfortable all in my own homeand your ring tone song deleted from my phoneand damn i use to love that song when it came on    - is that a country song?
mary poppins stage show mistakes – STOP IT
fake letter to be off work for colonoscopy – afraid to tell them you’re really being drilled up the bunghole? not sure why, totally acceptable – and a SMART reason to be off work
took a whole new turn – and wound up here. damn the luck.
we hope things are well down there – thanks
corn huskers lotion semen – WHAT? i just shudder when i think of who is really here reading
john leguizamo spanish soldier in tropic thunder – not sure what landed you here. not at all.
tired of this bullshit – i must have said that alot
donkey dicks of moms – of moms? that’s a new twist
www.he f*cks his own mama.com – sick bastard
does being bipolar make u not work lie moody – what? does that make sense? being bipolar makes me LOVE work. i work like a dog. i work better than everyone else. now, add in pills? THEN i don’t want to do shit. but that’s life buddy.
the making of mary poppins – seriously, why are you here? i need to check this out.
what drugs can help with freighting thoughts ang bipolar – again, makes no sense. what are freighting thoughts? you mean fleeting? i dont know.
info@moodymamas.com – hey now, stay away from my info
difference between hohos and swiss cake rolls – only EVERYTHING – duh, hohos are distinct and wonderful and swiss cake rolls are mushy and generic.
jocuri hotelul tipton – i don’t even know what that means
moody shit – i deal with moody shit all the time. what about it
motor stereo pity aspergers – again, what? make more sense please
bana the bear – that’s my baby
mood meter today moodymama – it’s good actually – feel pretty good, thanks
i… could use a stiff drink – i….. could too but it’s against my diet religion
buspar mb2 – doesn’t work that well, sorry
how the sims3 have sex and have a baby on phone    - i could probably get pregnant over the phone, but im not sure about the sims.
tuesdays on the phone to me – ah, a beatles fan. me too buddy.
moofy muppet – there’s no way you got here with that
don t mind me i m just crazy – thanks, that made me laugh
sex 50 to 60 mam clip – nothing like that here, sorry
friday 13th bonus features – other site
dont doodle bop no more ima offical rump shake    - you’re an idiot
what a bitch – i’m rather offended that led you here

Some gal from freecycle is coming by this morning to get some glasses I offered up. She’d better show.

My house is a sty and I’m just sitting here reading blogs.

The last of the fake nails I had put on finally fell off. Only took two months and 4 soaks.

My hair might not be ready for more dye. I’m debating on whether I like my hair on my head or in my hands.

I did the island lap on wii fit and it about killed me. But I did it. Our team is winning right now, and I don’t want to screw it up for us. My teammate was the biggest loser this time around. I lost 4 pounds in 3 weeks. Not so great. I’m at 133, only my wii fit says 134. So I’m going with 134. Still. I’ve been here for two weeks now. That’s about 129 without clothes, and that’s my magical number when I stop losing weight. Can’t seem to get past that barrier. I need to get on the fit more, but time is always slipping away. Mom wants me to take some zumba class, but that requires money and time. And desire. Not so sure I care about some class. Then again, my teammate is doing it, and some kickboxing class as well. And she’s losing twice as much as me. I just don’t think it’s for me.   I want to lose 9 more pounds. That’s not a lot. But tell that to me when someone brings home ice cream. Or licorice. Or Or Or. I think I’ve kicked the chip habit. Haven’t had one of those in a few weeks. But the ice cream? That kills me. And I still managing to keep it to two sodas a day – mostly. The weekends are hard because I’m awake longer, but so far this morning I haven’t had my fix and it’s almost 10. Pushing it back as far as I can.

Alright. I need to get laundry done and this house cleaned. Have a great day.

Some bitch girl called today and demanded to know why she didn’t get paid. Guess she had direct deposit, but it didn’t go through. Talk about heart attack. I was instantly sick to my stomach. I told her I’d check into it and call her back. I spent 30 minutes scouring through my reports and asking others if they got paid and basically just losing my mind. Then I call her back and she tells me that she changed accounts 2 weeks ago and wonders if that could be the reason why. Bloody hell.

It was just payroll question after another today. Then it was HR issue after another. I was able to solve them all without much trouble, which is good. Means I’m finally getting the hang of this shit. Boss lady is sending me to a few payroll seminars in KC this spring. Should help me out.

My hair. Egads. When people say what happened instead of hey cute hair, you know you have a problem. All except the owner. He was at the copy machine, and I walked in the room and he said – hey I like your hair. I laughed and said you don’t have to be nice, but thanks. He look honestly confused and said, no I really like it. Told him thank you. Then today he gave me a thumbs up. I assume he was referring to my hooker hair. Nice guy though. My boys liked it too. So did Jason. Just don’t get it. Must be a guy thing.

I hope to have it darkened up a little tomorrow and me happy again. And please don’t let my shit fall out. That would suck.

———-

I feel like I haven’t had a crazy doc appt in awhile, but I guess it’s only been a month and a half. I should make another one now, but I’m really doing ok I think. Haven’t had a manic episode in years. Ain’t that strange to hear? Years. It’s been that long since I’ve dealt with this shit. 5 years now. 5 years of meds and questions and learning and living again. I was thinking back on some of the things I did and it makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t get inside ‘her’ head anymore either to help understand some of why I did the things I did. It’s just nonsense and craziness. There is no explanation other than to say I was living some other reality. And all this talk about purple sky – it’s all blue bitch. Always been blue and hopefully will always be blue. If it ever turns purple again, we have serious issues. I don’t want it to be purple again. Ever.

———–

MB5 hurt his foot again falling off the steps. Or so he says. This has happened 3 times now. Different foot each time. And he limps so I know he’s hurt. Doesn’t forget sometimes or seem to dramatize it. It is what it is – hurt foot and he drags it. Two times before he’s had xrays and it’s been nothing. Do I take him in again? They’re going to think I beat him. Actually, I wonder if it is connected with his poor growth and poor motor skills. Bad bones or something. This first look place is a part of the rehab clinic, so hopefully they explore all the options and find out what the hell is wrong with him. He wants to skip so bad like his friends. Just pitiful. And painful.

Not sure what to do about his other issues. Not so bad like MB4’s. Just like that ole shake and bake theory of the doc’s – that you take the family history of ocd, anxiety, bipolar, and add and put it in a bag and each kid gets shaken around in it at birth. Some pieces stick more than others. All traits are likely to be a part of each kid, however slight. He’s a touch of this and a touch of that. Just enough to drive ME crazy. And his teachers. And I guess it interferes with his learning, so maybe he does need to be seen. But how embarrassing to have to 3 kids to the head doc. Just can’t do it.

And to top it off, MB1 told me that he thinks he’s in a depression and might need some help. I believe the poor kid too. Such low self-esteem. Friends all growing up and moving away. Life changing at a pace he’s not comfortable with. Lives in a world online with very little outside contact other than school and work. He’s very self-conscious about his acne, so I bought him some severe skin treatment stuff. If that doesn’t work, we’ll go to the dermatologist. Should have done that years ago and not made the poor kid suffer. But that takes extra money and that’s hard to come by sometimes.

——–

Have a little extra from the taxes, and it boiled down to two choices – dishwasher since ours broke 4 years ago, or a new bbq grill since ours is on its last leg. And we use the grill so often since our broiler in the oven doesn’t work. No, I don’t plan on fixing it any time soon. Not important as long as we have a grill. But man oh man wouldn’t a dishwasher be nice.

In the end, I bought two tickets to see George Strait and Reba. My honey likes country, loves George, our 20th anniversary is coming up, and he had wistfully mentioned the concert when he thought the closest they were coming was OMaha. I heard a gal talking about going yesterday, looked it up and saw that they are going to be in KC on the 9th of April, and bought the tickets this morning. I sent MD a text afterward —– section 110 row 3 , happy anniversary — he replied, you better not have. Told him I did and that I loved him. He said he would have been ok with the dishwasher. Told him we have 4 of those at home. Haven’t heard from him since. He has a ref job tonight, so it’ll be late when he gets home. Not sure if he is excited about going or is concerned with how much the tickets cost — cause they weren’t cheap. I almost could have bought a cheap dishwasher. Dammit No, no dammit. MD has never been to a concert, and he works 2 and 3 jobs for us. I don’t feel guilty about spending this money at all. Our anniversary is April 7th, so I thought maybe we could take off that day and spend it in KC exploring the shops or something. Kids’ll be in school that day, but MB3 can watch them afterward and that night. It’s not the romantic trip I had imagined or the new ring or the renewing of our vows, but whatever works, eh? It’ll make him happy. Or at least I thought it would. We’ll see when he gets home.

———

I’m rambling huh? Tough. I pay to ramble.

———

My plants are all dying. Like they do every winter. SPring better hurry up so I can stick them back outside. I don’t know what i do wrong, but they just don’t thrive indoors. They turn brown and shrivel up and my poor wandering jew gets crunchy because I forget to water it. Then the ones that make it to spring get put outside and magically come back to life again. I’d love to have spider plant. Saw one at the hairdresser’s place. Are they poisonous? Wouldn’t want these piss anywhere they want to cats to munch on some bad plants. Cough.

———-

MB2 bought a microkorg — it’s a keyboard looking thing — and has informed me that he has a band and they are going to book some recording room time so get their music out there. Cause it’s on his life’s list to have at least one song listened to by a decent amount of people — online listeners would count — and to have them like it. He has taught himself to play piano, and he’s not bad at it. Now, I can’t play anything other than silent night, so compared to me, he’s fantastic, but I still think he’s pretty good overall. And some other kid plays the guitar, and MB2 also plays the bass I guess. Knock yourself out kiddo. Just remember that if you get rich and famous and people start digging into your personal life and I suddenly can’t get a minute’s peace – I’ll not be a happy camper. Not at all. And my gawd are there a lot of skeletons in this family that I would like to remain in the closet. Anyway. When they have a song done, I might throw it up here so ya’ll can take a listen. I’m curious to see if they are any good or not. Not sure I can lie and tell them how great it is if it really sucks. Could you?

————

MB3 is away tonight at the Great Wolf Lodge in KC — with his girlfriend. Her parents took about 6 kids down there for her birthday. It’s this place where you do all kinds of neat things, I think mostly water rides and such. Boys in one room and girls in the other. Dad in with the boys and mom with the girls. People at work looked at me as though I was nuts for letting my son go away for the weekend with his girlfriend, but they aren’t really together – right? Right. Besides, he’s a good kid that does everything I ask him to, and then some. He deserves this. It does sort of bother me though that they’ve been dating a year next month. Isn’t that a bit long for a 14 year old? I want him to be happy, but I also want him to sample the buffet and not get stuck with the one course. I guess it’s sweet in a way…. could be high school sweethearts and get married and live happily ever after — but that’s a long shot. Guess we’ll see what happens.

———–

My  boys should be home from work here in a minute, and then they’re off to a friend’s. My cue to head to bed since they have company with them and I ripped that bra off hours ago. No free peep shows here. Besides, how sexy is it when your headlights point in two different directions?

super blond = hooker hair

i now have the bleach blond po white trash look

just gets better and better

at least the streaks are lighter, more golden now

i have a darker golden blond to try tomorrow

perhaps pics when it’s done

I’m so sad. My  mom paid for me to get my hair done by a “pro”. Color was her expertise. My hairy ass.

I realize that it was red and that’s very hard to make blond. I get that. But …… oh man.

She lightened my hair first. Fine.  Then she foiled SOME of it. Half of it to be exact. So I have half orange, half white hair. Ain’t that sexy. THen she said she ya in 6 weeks to finish. WHAT THE FUCK? Seriously. I had to go to work like that today.

I bought a dye after work to try and fix it myself. Nope. Orange still there. I’m on my second run now. My hair is not happy. NOt happy at all.

Pray for my hair.

Everyone is on the mend, thank gawd. That was rough.

Then the snowstorm hit. The first one. Another one due tonight/tomorrow. Lovely. Took me almost 90 minutes to drive home the other day in that shit. Trip usually takes 15. I have to go to work Monday, so they better hop on them there roads pretty quick like after this second storm.

MB1’s birthday was yesterday. 19 now. Ain’t I just the old bitch.

I’m down to strawberry blond. Now to find a nice golden blond to hop on to. I’ll take pics when I upload the camera software again.

Had to dump my computer and reload thanks to SOMEone — I don’t know who — who happened upon a nice virus and tore my shit up. Thank gawd for Mozy. Worth every nickel to save my pics and music. And my mymoney file. For some reason I always forget to back that up, but Mozy had a copy for me. Since I had my budget figured until August, I really really appreciated not having to redo that over again.

MD is at work. I miss him. I spend my life missing him. Guess it could be worse.

I’m still at 134. Then again, I ate at Cheddar’s tonight and I had ice cream last night. I can tell I’ve lost, cause I’m wearing my size 8’s again……. WHOOOOOOOFUCKINGHOOOOOOOOO!!!!…….but it’s not enough. I still have a belly that embarrasses me. Still hate for MD to touch me on my stomach. Can’t have him in the bathroom when I take a bath or shower or get dressed. He might see my flab and get disgusted. I know I have issues. I wish one of my issues was that I hated food.

Moody Mama is set to expire one month from ….. yesterday I think. I ‘ll renew. I always do. Cause I just know some little pecker is just dying to suck up this domain name. WELL TOUGH SHIT LOSERS. YOU MISSED OUT 8 YEARS AGO. I’ll NEVER LET THIS BITCH GO.

heh

I brought some leftovers home and they are calling my name.

Let’s add MB2, MB3, MB4, and MB5 to that sick list. Jeezus it’s been fun around here. It’s like the stomach flu gone wild. I’ve done more laundry in the past 24 hours than I’ve done in two weeks. Luckily, I haven’t got it yet. Nor has MD. Good, ’cause we have to work. I stayed home today, but I have to go to work tomorrow. MB2 and MB3 will be home watching over the little ones tomorrow. Everyone is on the mend except MB2, so at least it doesn’t last long.

But don’t come over. My house smells like yak.

I did payroll the other day from start to finish and I think everyone got paid correctly. I hope so anyway. No one has called to bitch so far. I was so nervous. I wonder if this anxiety will ever go away. I never used to be this ninny-ish.

It’s heart day and I started this morning. Figures.

MD is out stocking stores. I wanted to rent Brothers at War for us to watch tonight, but it doesn’t seem to be at any of the redbox locations around here. There’s one in Leavenworth, but am I really going to drive about 50 minutes each way for a movie I can buy for $16? But I don’t want to buy it until I know if it’s any good or not. Reviews are mixed.

I’m bored. I dyed my hair again, lightest auburn, but I can’t tell a difference yet while it’s wet. Maybe I’ll buy the next step while I’m at walmart today. Following Michelle’s advice and going lighter in stages. I’m at the lightest red I can go now, so I guess it’s time to start with the darkest blond. I just don’t know what I want. As usual.

Savan MG has the stomach flu. I know that’s exciting.

I’m outta here.

I weighed in at 137 at work last wednesday. The start of the contest. I weighed myself this morning, and I’m at 134. Then again, I had one helluva day today, so I probably gained a few back.  But that’s with clothes on, so hopefully that means I’m really 129 or something close to it. I’m only trying to hit 120, so I’d be within 10lbs in that case. I really want this. I haven’t been exercising much because my fitness cd keeps konking out on me. I’ve cut back my dr pepper, and started drinking crystal light lemonade — but man oh man does my tongue hurt from all that acid. I’m only allowing myself 1400 calories a day, but I’m not really watching what I eat exactly. Not snacking too much though. Well, I wasn’t until the kids showed me their valentine candy bowl. Egads.

Anyway, enough of that mess.

I’m thinking that maybe I should talk to the doc about this extra water/exercise shit since I take the lithium. Something is wonky with my system and I wonder if that’s it. I was told early on that my diet affects this med, so maybe that’s it. I’m just mopey sometimes. More than usual.

I wish I could get fired up again. But not at my kids. Trade off time. I know that. I just wish for a bit of mania sometimes. Something to know I’m still alive. I love my life now, but ….. you know. Same ole shit I always complain about.

————–

Our 20th anniversary is coming up and I need some ideas on gifts. Something cheap but not cheesy. No coupon books for blow jobs or shit like that. No massages or foot rubs. No promises to take over chores or dinner for a bit. And no actual jobs of blowing, come to think of it. That’s more of a birthday thing anyway. I wish I had the money to get him a new bbq grill. Ours is falling apart. Not sure it will survive much longer. The bottom literally rusted out. Classy. But, the kids need new glasses and dental visits. Priorities you know.

————–

Anyone want two cats? I’m about sick of their asses. All they do is eat and sleep and shit. They don’t play with us or let us pet them or come when their called or play with toys or meow or anyfuckingthing a normal cat should do. Dumbasses.

—————

I am having a horrible foot cramp. I thought I’d share that with you. Come back in two days and I can talk about my menstrual cramps. I know you can’t wait.

—————

I’m ready to go back to blonde. I’m tired of this dark shit. I feel older and ugly and just blah. I need some sunshine on my head in order to feel better. Thing is, I’m afraid of taking it back myself. Took 14 tries the last time I went from red to blonde. 14 tries and a fried head. Not to mention fried hair. My shit just fell out. I would like to keep my hair on my head this time. So, it’s off to have it done somewhere, but where? I think mom will pay for it if I go to a friend of hers. But can she be trusted? How do I know who to trust? Hair color experts is gone and they’re the ones I was going to use. Dammit.

—————

Ok, time for bed. Have a wonderful heart day.

Just filled out MB2’s fafsa for school. Turns out according to their estimates, he’ll be eligible for more than enough to go to college next year. He can either live at home and rake in a tidy sum every semester to pay for books and what not, or he can stay in the dorm and work his ass off to make ends meet ’cause he isn’t getting enough to stay there. Same goes for his older brother as well. Looks like I’ll have them around for at least another year.

I’m just happy they both can go for free. At least it’s something our poor-ness can do for them.

I’m feeling blue lately, not that I’m trying to use that as my excuse for not posting, as I have none. But you know that by now. I don’t post anymore. Rarely anyway.

MS’s husband lost his job. ANd he made very good money. Please keep them in your thoughts. She’s still supposed to go to the doc next week, but now she doesn’t want to go. I understand where’s she coming from, but …….. I don’t know. SHe should still go.

Wee one has an appt with the First Look clinic in APril. They asked a bunch of questions first, and agreed that he needs to be seen. I feel like I’m living the MB4 nightmare all over again. Only this time the school is on board and almost pushing me to take him for help. Shouldn’t they do testing of their own? I would think so. They said he can’t have services without an IEP, because he didn’t have an EIP. Huh? Whatever.

ALright. Off to finish the older one’s taxes and get laundry done. My life is just so damn exciting.