Too much pressure to post on facebook. Too many different groups on there for my liking. Friends, bloggers, family, school friends, message board friends, coworkers, on and on. It’s enough to make your head spin. Not possible to filter shit that thoroughly. So, I never post. Sad eh?

Well, I turned down the fuel and they offered the HR position. There is one other gal who is thinking about it as well, but she said today that she didn’t think she wanted it. So that leaves me. Hell yeah I’ll take that shit over what I do now. Good gawd. Although I am getting used to auditing. There’s a certain rhythm to it that keeps you going.

They hired an intern to help out until Christmas. She’s posting now too. That helps tremendously. So even if I don’t get the HR job for some reason, at least the pressure is off for a little while to post all by my lonesome. That sucks.

I can post all the stores now! I know that means diddly squat to you, but it means that I have ‘arrived’. Thank you. Thank you.

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MD can’t go on his ride along with that other company because he has to stock stores tomorrow. Ain’t that the way it crumbles. Can’t run the milk route either, and we need that money for Christmas. Not sure what money tree will sprout to make that happen. Something needs to give soon, or we won’t be able to stay in this house. And the thought of moving in with my mother or my friend just doesn’t appeal to me right now. Nope. Sure doesn’t.

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MB4 wants to write stories. He said that his brain is in the right place at the right time for writing. Glad one of the kids feels like that. Glad the meds haven’t stolen that fire from him.

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I have the Sookie Stackhouse book – the first one. Haven’t read it yet. Waiting for the mood to hit me. I guess I’m in a Twilight mood right now.  I’m starting to get excited about New Moon coming out, as much as I hate to admit that. BUT — MD is too. He talks about it more than I do. He’s been listening to the books on CD – and he’s already read them himself.

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OMHell, I love her but please make her be quiet for one second so I can finish this post.

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Guess that’s not going to happen. We’re now talking about neighbors and clothes and animals. …….. please please rescue me …….. moving in with strangers who have a big enough house when you get kicked out of your house (wouldn’t she like to know how real this almost is)…… and how do you get money from your job. …… why do you still tell me that the tooth fairy is real …. MB5 stop touching me. ……. I’m not in the mood for apples , isn’t that strange? people usually want apples in the fall …… where are my pajamas, I need soft ones tonight. ……..

Gah

I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want the extra fuel shit on my shoulders right now. Ever. It’s a 7 day a week job – that’s the main reason. Not to mention what I said before about way too much responsibility. I hate running from it, but my brain isn’t cut out for that mess anymore. I will tell them on Monday. Wish me luck.

Little kids are spending the night with my best friend. She takes them every few months or so. They love her dogs. So it’ll just be me and the older boys – who are all bailing as well. So just me and MD – who has to work tonight. So just me. Guess I”ll read Twilight again. Or go to bed.

MB5 is feeling better. MD took the last two days off with him since I don’t have PTO … yet? Let’s hope I get a slew of shit in November when the benefits kick in.

They talked to me today about doing learning fuel. Good and bad with it, but what choice do I have? I have to show them that I am willing to take whatever they have to throw at me. It would involve 30 minutes of my time Saturday and Sunday.  I’d order fuel and manage the supply for 12 stores. Seems to me that it’ll be easy to get an ass chewing if something goes wrong.  I hate this. I can’t say no, but I don’t really want it. But they’re going to teach me all aspects of the job and the other parts I like a helluva lot better than posting numbers. It’s always something, eh?

103.4 …….. so I sit here and wait for the meds to kick in. Am I the only ninny that sets her alarm clock every two hours when the kiddos are sick just in case they run a  fever at night? Well I do. I don’t see any other way around it. They rarely get up to tell me that they have a fever, and I don’t want it running crazy high.

He actually took the meds like a champ too. Usually he pukes it all up. MD is going to stay home with him tomorrow/today. And maybe the next day. I know my work will let me off, but he’ll be paid for it, and my benefits don’t kick in for another 3  weeks.

Gawd I’m tired.

And my eyes itch. Hope that isn’t a bad sign.

And just like that, the little man goes down. Fever cough fatigue vomiting — any takers on what the doc will say tomorrow? I bet I know. Variety doesn’t matter – he’ll have one strand or another. He ALWAYS gets the damn flu.

I usually don’t take him in until the third or fourth day, but I will take him in tomorrow with all this swine shit going around.

Thanks for the reading suggestions. She’s being put into a special daily program at school to get her some extra help. I’m glad. I know she needs it, and I can’t do it alone – I can barely keep up with laundry. We’ll still work on it at home though. I went and got her some June B Jones books, but she didn’t really seem all that interested. Maybe I’ll hop over to Magic School Bus and see if that does it. If not, I have plenty of other suggestions to work through.

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Company picnic went great. Kids had a blast on the 2 story slide and bounce house. Older boys played volleyball with MD. I ran around with MB5 the whole time playing on the playground. My boss (the owner) came up and talked to me for a bit. He’s a really nice guy. I’m glad I didn’t screw them over with that other job.

They’re hiring someone else at work. I’m not sure what position it’s for, but I’m hoping it’s a part time gal to help me audit stores – like I was a month ago. I went from posting 1,2,5,7,8,10,12 and added 3,6,11 – and I know they are getting ready to train me on 4 and 9. But I can’t post stores all by myself. I need at least a little help.

They were talking the other day and one of the maintenance guys said that him and his wife were considering adopting her sister’s children – but that one of them was bipolar so it gave them pause. Everyone got quiet, nodded their heads, and didn’t say anything. Later, we were talking about days off, and I reminded my office boss that I needed Tuesday morning off to take Carson to his appt – and then I let loose with why he needed to be seen every two months for medication management. Again, everyone just got quiet and nodded. Really weird. Either someone in the office is bipolar and they are trying to ease around the conversation, or something has happened with someone they know or they have talked about this before and they have a really bad juju feeling about it. Let’s hope someone in the office is bipolar. That would be great.

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MD is stocking stores. He couldn’t run the milk route because there’s no one to stock. This is the third run he’s missed. That’s $750 for those playing along at home. I needed that shit for Christmas. Sweet. Wonder if the kids would mind IOUs. Kidding. We’ll find a way. Always do.

MD has a preview interview on the 14th. He thinks he can get the afternoon off, but it’s the real interview and ride-a-along that he’s going to have trouble with. I need a good reason why he needs to be off two days. And we don’t know if they’re back to back days or what. Hopefully he’ll find out  more at the preview. I know he wants this job. Same job actually, just easier product. A lot easier. And the pay is better than this fool shit he’s got going on now.

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What does everyone set their thermostat to in the winter. I’m trying to get ours as low as possible without freezing to death, but I think we’re a little spoiled. I’ve been to two houses that I swear you could see your breath, and I wonder if maybe ours is set too high? It was at 74, but I lowered it to 73 and 70 at night. Is that too high? The house feels chilly at these temps. But totally livable. I think you should be able to wear a sweater in your house and not sweat. MD thinks you should be able to wear shorts in your house and not freeze. You see the problem.

Anyone recommend a good dvd burner? One that takes vcr tapes and converts them to dvds? We have about 20 home videos to convert and mom has about 15. Four of our tapes no longer work, and I’d like to get them transferred over before the rest of them go bad.

I didn’t realize that the library had music. I’m in heaven.

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Company picnic is tomorrow. Taking all the kids except for MB1. He’s ‘busy’. Whatever.

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I need some good chapter books for 2nd grade level. Anyone? MG isn’t the best reader, and I’d like to work with her on it. But I know we need some more challenging stuff. Sad that none of the kids really like to read like MD and I. If only we had the time, maybe they would see it more and take up an interest.

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MB4 has come so far from the little boy who didn’t care if you tucked him in at night. From the little kid who wasn’t at all concerned with other people and their feelings or problems.

Tonight he’s bothered by the fact that my mom is alone and probably lonely. He’s already got her mentally moved into here so we could be her company. (NOT) He’s really sad about this. He wants to know how she eats alone and who she talks to at night before bed and who does she watch tv with. Something must be clicking up there in his brain, because sympathy is new territory for him. I’m glad. I don’t want him worrying about her too much because he gets obsessive about shit, but I’m glad he’s caring about people.

——–

Ahhhhh Elton John.

———

I had to go with a smaller amount of life insurance today, because anymore and I would have had to fill out a form that asked for all kinds of shit – and it would have gone to our HR gal —- who is basically HR, accts rec, and part time audit gal — and she would have known that I was bipolar and what meds I take. No thanks. So I lowered the dollar amount, and problem fixed.  I seriously thought I was going to throw up when I thought I had to fill that shit out.

I am so not ready for that little secret to come out yet.