And by the way…. we’re up to $200 now. Thank you very very much.

I have a new baby and it only cost me an unborn child to get it.

Seriously it took trading in MD’s car so that we only showed two car payments, because they still count the other shitting mess as a car loan. Sweet, eh? Now he will get a little used jobbie and we’ll only have the one payment. Well, the two payments I guess. Payment and a half. Whatever.

I’ll post pics tomorrow. I’ve had a long long day, and I just want to take a hot bath and think about nothing. Absolutely nothing.

MD is off again tomorrow, but I’m not. Bummer. Today was spent at the dealership, and tomorrow I have a stack of shit for him to do. Most of it involves the new car, but hopefully he’ll be able to get to calling some of these places for me. Actually, he said he wants to go there in person, so we’ll see what Mr Man can get for us. I hope he gets a lot.

I love me some Pandora.

Trying to fix better meals. I got into the habit of making quick shit because MD was working 4-5 nights a week. Now he’s only gone 2 nights, and I need to feed us better food. Tonight is pork steaks and veggies and taters and bread. Mmmm.

I just posted about food. Gah.

I’m sitting here shaking my ass to Midnight Rider. Shaking my ass and bopping my head. Just begging someone to catch me.

I finally finished downloading all of dad’s CDs. Downloading…uploading…whatever. I have them all finally. Mom wants me and MS to go through them and take what we want, but I still feel funny about taking anything of dad’s. I’m not ready yet. Of course, by the time I am, there won’t be anything left.

Still haven’t made any decisions about a car. Still don’t really know our options. I refused to deal with it yesterday and wanted a nice family day instead. MD had to work today, so I wanted to take advantage of the 80 degreee weather with the kids while it lasted. Today, well, today is laundry day. Yay me.

A very popular coffee place has contacted us about a possible donation, but we have to give a presentation – - at this woman’s house! WTF? Is that even … legal? Don’t you usually meet in the manager’s office? Really, come on. Makes me nervous enough to give a presentation about this, but to meet at her house? I just think that’s weird. And I’m not giving a presentation. I’m handing her a letter. The letter I spent hours crafting that details everything. Crazy lady. Must drink too much of that coffee.

Work tomorrow. Starting not to dread it so much. Not sure why I do anyway. It’s not hard, it’s just boring. No, that’s Boring. Must give it the respect it deserves. The girls there are great. The boss is fantastic. The hours can’t be beat. The flexibility is insane. I just have to get used to the fact that I verify and post numbers now. That’s what I do. Hopefully more exciting stuff will come later. Oh, I forgot, I sort and send coupons too. Silly me.

MB1 is getting closer and closer to actually attending school. He registered for classes last week, and this week he talks to them about Stafford loans. He only needs about $800. Hopefully that will go away completely when he retakes the ACT and scores higher. Study and score higher like I told him to do the first time around.

—————–

I’ve been having a hard time with Dad lately. Maybe because the two year anniversary of his death is coming up. Maybe because we’re doing this tournament again and it reminds me that the last time I spent it waiting for dad to die. I don’t know, but it’s on my mind a lot.

No nervous breakdown. Acutally in a pretty good mood today. We are where we’re meant to be, right? Just need to find the positives and a way out of this mess.

Hey, I know. Why don’t you total the van instead and stick me with an upside down situation of $4k because the mileage is so high on the car?

I appreciate it. A lot.

Oh, and did you know that I’ve only been at my job for not even two weeks? Haven’t even received a paycheck yet. Think I can get a loan for another car? HAHA! And let’s forget about poor MD. We’ve leaned on his credit the past two years to try and get by.

I think I’m going to have a nervous breakdown.

Let’s see. …..

You add two young men and their two cars to your insurance policy, which causes it to jump up almost 150%. Nice. So, you try to be fair by telling these boys that you will pay for half of the increase. But it’s still an increase. An addition to your already tight budget. So, you make some changes to your policy. You raise your deductibles and you drop those silly little things like towing and rental cars and such.

Then you hit a deer. A really big deer. A deer so big that it fit squarely across the front of my van and took a direct hit.

My van is trashed. Not sure how much we’re talking. The insurance guy is coming out tomorrow to take a look.

But I do know one thing. I somehow need to come up with $1000 – my share of the bill. How sweet it is.

The car isn’t even driveable. Which means that rental car shit would have been great. But MB2 is going out of town for two weeks, and has lent us the use of his car. Sweet kid.

Anyhow, I think we’re going to take a hit on our 401k to cover the costs. Not the best idea, but it sure beats knocking off the local gas station.

Fucking deer.

I’m about to take up hunting so I can do my part to thin the herd.

———————-

Added to say that no one was hurt other than MD’s arms getting a serious case of airbag burn as they shot out and I had a sore booby where the seat belt crushed the shit outta me. But other than that, we are all ok. Thank gawd.

For some reason, I just can’t seem to shake the blahs. It’s been like this since I tried to wean off the lithium. I’m back on full strength now, but the yuckies won’t go away. Hope I didn’t screw something up. Not many more pills I can take to fight the depression. I take 10 a day as it is. 10 fucking pills. egads. Now granted, they aren’t 10 different pills, but still…. that’s a lot of medicine. I think anyway.

Job is going ok I think. I hope I’m not screwing up. Guess I’ll find out soon enough if I am. It’s nice having every other day off. Except the money that’s missing from those days sucks. Stressing about cash since school starts next month and I have all 6 to get ready this year. Ahh to go back to the good ole days when I didn’t worry about bills.

Anyhoooo……

Tournament is coming right along. We have a handful of items for a raffle so far. Still not easy to make the calls, but I’ve done 11 this week. MD has called a few places for me while in between stops. He’s also going to make the rounds with his contacts from volleyball. I just hope we round up enough items to make it worthwhile.

By the way, we’re up to $75 now. Mom let me use her computer to make copies and her fax to send out donation requests, so that didn’t cost us anything but paper. Trying to keep costs down this time. I’d still like to beat the $1100 mark from last time.

Start the new job tomorrow. Very nervous. I hope I catch on quickly, and my memory troubles don’t start acting up. Hate to come off as a dumbass on my first day.

My sister is here with her kids. Both her kids and mine have been having a blast. Yesterday was fun, except MD had to leave early to get some shut eye for the milk run today. Sucks, but $250 for one day is too much to turn down.

Tournament is coming along. I actually called 7 places in a row the other day. Can’t seem to pick up the phone since, but at least I did a little.

Doc gave me Maxalt for migraines. ANyone else take it? Does it cause a nasty rebound headache the next day? I can’t stop the headache train. Hopefully it won’t show up again tomorrow on my way to work.

Way to work. Heh.