Wee one is being tested for allergies and asthma. He’s been coughing for two months. Nothing will stop it except steroids. Poor kiddo. He’s such a tiny tot. We can’t sleep at night because we’re afraid he’s going to choke to death as a result of a coughing fit. Hopefully tonight will be better. Benadryl and prednisone. And I probably spelled those wrong. Tough shit.

Life ticks on…

Wow, have I ever let it go this long? It’s amazing how busy life has become. The more comfortable I become at work, the more responsibilities I have. And the more I am expected to do, the longer I am stuck at work at night. Shouldn’t say stuck — I love it. I love being busy. I love that feeling of drowning when there are stacks of paperwork on your desk. Gives me a rush.

Gives me a rush to chew ass too. My doctor’s appt is this week, and thank gawd for that. I need a severe attitude adjustment. Think I’m a bit manic as well. The weather gets nicer, and my insides start freaking out. Not that I mind.

I really wish I could skip the pills though. I know that I could be so much better at my job if I could remember shit better. I have virtually no retention, and it really bites. I know it’s the pills. I know it’s not being able to be crazy ass Angie. I know I can’t NOT take the pills. I just wish.

I have some of the cutest clothes I’ve ever had, thanks to my mama and my friend/boss. It’s nice getting up for work when you have something kickass to wear. And my friend bought me a pair of boots that are cute as hell. I love them. And I’ve bought myself some cute shit – at the thrift store. I like to shop, but I’ll be damn if I spend all that moolah.

MD’s birthday party is tonight, but he has to work today. He offered to work to make some extra money. Today and tomorrow. So, I need to finish cleaning the house and making myself purdy. I bought him some division champs Bucs gear, but I have other plans for his birthday later. I’m such trash. I don’t think he minds.

MB2 – Not really sure how life is going for him. I guess it’s ok. He seems happy. His grades are…..decent. He’s wanting to get his hair back to normal. Which should make me happy, but I have kind of grown to like his black locks with crazy stripes. Now I wish he would take out them damn earrings. They aren’t THAT bad, but he likes the bigger hoops, and it drives me nuts.

Both him and MB1 are getting ready for prom. Which means I get to listen to them bitch about how the girl is making all these plans and they are expected to pay for it all. At least the weddings won’t be like this. I’m just glad they are both going. Good memories. I hope, anyway.

MB1 is growing up before my eyes. It makes me sad, but it’s also thrilling to see the person he’s becoming. It’s like you’ve waited your whole life — or their whole life — to witness this transition, and you hold your breath wondering what path he’s going to take. I hope he chooses wisely.

We drug tested both of them the other day. Brought it off as some sort of joke, but I was curious thanks to the kids they hang out with. Both clean. Happy mama. Kids get to stay alive. I had ordered the tests online a few months back when my sister’s son was caught smoking the herb. They are a helluva lot cheaper online than they are at the pharmacy, I can tell you that. Look like little pregnancy tests. Nothing more than a litmus paper on a stick. I ain’t picky. Not for a couple bucks.

MD is better than he was. Not sick anymore. Still hating his job. Still not able to get a call back. Something’s gotta give soon. Even with my job things are so tight they squeak. I have to pay my taxes (yes, that were due by Dec) before I can get the cars registered for the year, and I’m praying that his other job at the volleyball place kicks in real soon so I can get it done. And it was suggested that I stop washing my car so the law can’t see my expired tag a month from now and pop me a ticket. Smart thinking, ’cause that bitch is nasty now. Couldn’t see the tag if you tried. ………… This talk is so wrong.

I’m doing great, as long as I have work to do. I’m pretty sure this pill makes it so that I literally lose my ever loving mind if I’m idle for more than a moment. This goes for my brain too. I cannot sit there for one second and do nothing. Batshit alert. And my friend has her moments where she likes to play a hand of cards or shut the door and listen to the music, and I’m just not that way. I bug her into working, and she’s probably rethinking this whole get up. Heh.

Still sort of depressed. I have an appt this month, so I’ll ask about maybe trying the other one again. I know it makes you gain weight, but I read an article that said when you start a drug and then stop and restart that same drug, sometimes the side effects go by the wayside. It’s happened to me twice, so I’m curious to see what would happen if I tried it. I’ve never been happier than I was on that pill. I just want to feel happy again. When your life is running great, you shouldn’t feel like this.