Moody Mama expires next month. I know I’m renewing, but I’m still not sure what I’m doing. Maybe I’ll put up a message board and let you all keep it alive.

It’s time to get started on Volley for the Cure/Light the Night. Except I’m not. I’ll walk this September, but I’m not hosting the tournament. I’ve done it twice and two people have been zapped with cancer. I know the timing is wrong and it’s crazy to think that way, but I can’t help it. I don’t have the ooomph to fight this year. Nor do I have the time. What I do have is a shitload of tshirts – wanna buy one?

Staying home today because I feel like shit. And MG feels like shit. So we’ll sit here and feel like shit together. And I’ll finally get laundry caught up. What a fun day I have planned.

Wee one is loving preschool. He’s interacting with the kids like an old pro, and he still squeals when I pull into her driveway every morning. He pops up at 6am to start his day, and he asks to be put to bed around 8:30 every night. He even takes a two hour nap at her place. I’d say he’s doing well. He’s on his way to being well health wise. Has taken awhile. Such a sickly boy.

The preschool gal asked me if I noticed how ….. particular he was. Since that’s person #6 to notice just how ….. whatever he is, I’d say it’s not my imagination. Especially since one of those was MB4’s doc. I guess we just wait to see if he needs help with it or not. Plenty of people in our family that are OCD and are not on meds. (cough*mother*moodysister*cough)

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MG is thriving in kindergarten. Such a quick little mind. She suckered us into another semester of cheerleading because her friends were taking the class this time around — only to get her first dose of fucked up friendship when these two girls always pair up with each other and leave my girly out. Rude. She’s starting to read, and although we’ve gone through this a million times, it’s still amazing to watch their world literally explode as they are given access to a whole new level.

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MB4 is kicking ass. His grade cards this entire year have had a 91% — and then nothing less that a 97% for the rest of the classes. Most are 99%. Fucking unreal. And his testing came back with his language at 96%. For a language disordered kid. Something is screwy there. He had his annual IEP, and they ACTUALLY ADDED shit this time. There’s a new gal, and she actually read his eval from KU, and added in things that they suggested. Talk about shock. There are going to role play on how to interact with adults and certain situations. And continue the rest that focuses on comprehension. He needs that very much badly.

He has a birthday coming up, and I still don’t know what to do for it. Few friends overnight? Lots of friends for a few hours? He doesn’t quite get it all yet. He says a few friends, but is telling half the town. Will be harder than I thought.

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MB3 is a sneaky one. Good kid who is hardly in trouble ever, but he’s still sneaky. He doesn’t like to do homework, so he’s had a few detentions. I need to find a way to motivate this kid. Not like I’m having luck with the other ones. They get A’s and B’s and maybe a C for good measure. And that’s ok with them. I don’t know how to make them like me. Don’t know how to make them want to be the best. Frustrating.

He’s doing great watching the kids in the mornings. No trouble at all so far. knockknockknock. And he’s getting small doses of evening babysitting as we leave for longer periods of time. He’s one hell of a big brother, I tell you that. He follows us in the little ones’ room at night so he can get his hug and kiss, and wee one just squeals because he knows he’s getting tickled. I couldn’t teach that either, he was born that way.

Make me a list of where it never snows. Never. I can’t stand this shit one more second. Lights have been flashing all morning. If the power goes off again because of the ice that’s under this new snowstorm, I’ll just cry.

Off tomorrow. Going to use it wisely. Going to call my sister and play on the computer.

I was thinking of shutting ‘er down again. Haven’t made my mind up completely. I need to get over the idea that I HAVE TO POST EVERY SINGLE DAY. I feel guilty when I don’t, and that’s just stupid. Maybe I can do a once a month recap on how everyone is doing. That should suffice for posterity’s sake. Take some pressure off.

Last week things got a little crazy. Kids were on my fucking nerves. MD wasn’t giving me enough attention and then he simply wasn’t giving me enough. I started giving double takes to guys at work and sizing them up using my do-able scale. I wore too much make-up and said the eff word way more than usual. I knew for sure that MD was leaving me, and I wasn’t so sure I didn’t want him to. I gave dirty looks and wondered why people were so damn rude. I was convinced that the whole world was out to get me.

Then I noticed MB4 slumped in a heap on the couch sobbing his heart out. Over something so small. And realized that I had skipped our pills for four days. That’s all it took people. 4 fucking days to lose our minds. To let the creepy crawlers back in that are hell bent on destroying our lives. And damned if I didn’t more or less help them. Didn’t even bat an eye and wonder if I was flipping a nutty. But MD usually makes sure we stay on top of them, and he was sick. Going to have to have a better system I guess. That shit scared me just a tad bit. Thought I had a handle on things better than that. Don’t take much to rock the boat. And I obviously do not have a life preserver.

Yeah, yeah. I know there are tumbleweeds rolling around in this bitch. I said I was busy. That ain’t no lie. But I still want to take off all my clothes and roll around in the insanity, so it’s all good.

Still loving the job. Getting the hang of shit more. There are a bazillion POs to do today, and I literally couldn’t sleep because I was so wanting to get a jump on the day. Then again, it’s not my ass on the line (yet) for any of this shit and I’m not exactly privy to the due dates and such, so I have the luxury of stupidity for the moment. I can bask in the busy-ness and not reach high alert stress status. Which is precisely why I FUCKING ADORE being the assistant. Hell yeah.

Added to our busy lives, everyone was sick at some point the past two weeks. Wee one is finally starting to get better. Finally. Had us worried these this weekend. I’ve never really KNOWN when to use the breathing machine. I do now. And MD was down for 4 days – which is unlike him. Flu. Then one kid after another. I felt yucky one night, and that was it. Throat is sore, but that is it. I think it helps that my system is pumping full steam ahead right now, and has no time for illness.

Can you believe that little ole me is going to have a SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD in 4 days? What the fuck chuck? I damn sure don’t feel old enough. Ok, some days. I can remember me as at 17. I’m glad my kids aren’t me. I wouldn’t sleep at all at night. I wish he was more responsible, but he’s still a good kid. I just want to trap him in shrink wrap for a few more years so he can’t run off and grow up on me. I could be a grandma soon. Holy Geebus. I better NOT be a grandma anytime soon.

Ok, free time is over. Time to wakey wake the kids and start their day.

From the 1st year of this blog …

“Birthday Boy

The party’s over, but my oldest kiddo actually turns 12 today. February 19th. I cannot believe I am typing those words. Where the hell did the time go? “

And now he’s 17. What the hell? From 12 to 17, just like that? Does it seem like that much time has gone by yet? Am I crazy?

Didn’t go to work today. Wee one has pneumonia, and I spent all day at the doctor and then chasing down all the medicines and shit he needed. Then I deep cleaned this sty. MD came home and then left again to help out a buddy of his. Plowing for cash. Music to my ears. Wish he didn’t feel he had to do it though. Yes, every bit helps, but still.

Not going to color my hair, that’s already done. But since I tried 3 times to keep it red because it kept washing out, and then I screwed up and grabbed a brownish one, and then I had to desperately try to get it back to blonde — and it took a LONG time. And it took MANY dyes. And it fucked my hair up royally. Can you say f-r-y? It’s fried. I’ve conditioned and trimmed, and it’s still limp and destroyed. So, I thought maybe I’d cut it back to a bob-ish length, and keep cutting it until the damage has been cut out. I still have to dye it as the roots come back, but I know how to be careful in that regard. I just need this damage gone so I can get back to normal. So, I’m going to trim a little each week until I have the bob in the picture. Or whatever the hell it’s called.

This is what I’m aiming for. We’ll see if that’s what I get, and if that’s what really makes me happy afterward.

Finally a moment to sit and rest and think for a minute. Except there is some substance on the keyboard that’s really grossing me out, well it’s pissing me off and I need to hop up to clean it, but if I do that, then I’ll see 10 other things that I really should be doing, and the guilt will win and I’ll stop and play slave to the chores and I won’t get a chance to tell you that I’m really really fucking busy lately, so I’ll ignore it for now.

And I have these little red bumps popping up everywhere. Could I be allergic to work? Ha ha. No, seriously? What about the dress clothes? One of those rubbing me the wrong way maybe? Irritating. I can’t go get that massage with bumps all over my body. How nice for someone to silently holler grody nasty bitch the whole time they rub me. Gawd I’m just really not looking forward to that.

MB1 didn’t go to his homecoming tonight. I hope he knows what he’s doing. You can never get those opportunities back. Says that they all plan to go their Senior year. Hope he’s not in traction or some shit. KnockKnockKnock.

The Beatles still rock.

I bought candy valentines for the kids and the suck. I mean, the candy is really gross. Then again, my taste buds haven’t been all that great since I started the Abilify. Not nasty, just different. Should I buy new valentines? Screw it. Kids will eat the ass end of a donkey.

OH OH OH — I called my doc and told her that I have virtually no side effects (none that I can’t live with anyway), and she said, yeah, but is this dose working? And I said I think so, and she said……….. then Congratulations! We’ve finally found the right combo. I’d consider you now level. —— And gee, it only took 3 years. Gawd speed Brittney.

That’s not to say that something might wonk out and not work anymore. Totally possible. But I’ll hopefully be able to recognize that and get it fixed. And lithium usually keeps on ticking. At least I can go a few months now without seeing her. Since it’s already been a month, she wants me in two months from now, and then she said we’ll judge from there. SO nice to finally be done yanking the med chain. SO very tiring to yoyo like that for the sake of getting better.

So, I’m level and MB4 is level. 3 years must be key. Still pretty damn sad that it took this long. Then again, I’m just glad that we have this opportunity to get treatment. Thankful that there are meds out there that will take my broken brain and make it well again.

The Abilify has helped me to lose a little weight. I’m down 14 pounds. About another 8 or 9 to go. I’m happy though. Still need to tone, but I’m not in such a panic about the weight like I was 10 pounds ago.

The Eagles still rock. And will now never be the same.

Nerds rock too. They’re the new Smartie, dontcha know.

Haven’t talked to my sister or my mom. Need to call them this weekend, and just make plans to call them every weekend, I guess. Simply no time during the week.

We are doing it though. I leave before the kids, MB3 gets the little ones and himself on the bus, two oldest get themselves to school, and I get wee one to preschool. They get home before us, MD usually picks up wee one, and I follow home before 5pm. Then we run around getting things ready for the next day and that night, go through book bags, and get on dinner. Usually though, we get done so quickly, that we stand around wondering what the hell to do after dinner. MD sits down and watches bad tv. I can’t do that with this pill. I must find something to do, but I’m tired. So I usually lay down. Exciting. Totally.

Except for tonight. Kids are either gone or in bed, and I plan on a little stress release.