Some bitch girl called today and demanded to know why she didn’t get paid. Guess she had direct deposit, but it didn’t go through. Talk about heart attack. I was instantly sick to my stomach. I told her I’d check into it and call her back. I spent 30 minutes scouring through my reports and asking others if they got paid and basically just losing my mind. Then I call her back and she tells me that she changed accounts 2 weeks ago and wonders if that could be the reason why. Bloody hell.
It was just payroll question after another today. Then it was HR issue after another. I was able to solve them all without much trouble, which is good. Means I’m finally getting the hang of this shit. Boss lady is sending me to a few payroll seminars in KC this spring. Should help me out.
My hair. Egads. When people say what happened instead of hey cute hair, you know you have a problem. All except the owner. He was at the copy machine, and I walked in the room and he said – hey I like your hair. I laughed and said you don’t have to be nice, but thanks. He look honestly confused and said, no I really like it. Told him thank you. Then today he gave me a thumbs up. I assume he was referring to my hooker hair. Nice guy though. My boys liked it too. So did Jason. Just don’t get it. Must be a guy thing.
I hope to have it darkened up a little tomorrow and me happy again. And please don’t let my shit fall out. That would suck.
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I feel like I haven’t had a crazy doc appt in awhile, but I guess it’s only been a month and a half. I should make another one now, but I’m really doing ok I think. Haven’t had a manic episode in years. Ain’t that strange to hear? Years. It’s been that long since I’ve dealt with this shit. 5 years now. 5 years of meds and questions and learning and living again. I was thinking back on some of the things I did and it makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t get inside ‘her’ head anymore either to help understand some of why I did the things I did. It’s just nonsense and craziness. There is no explanation other than to say I was living some other reality. And all this talk about purple sky – it’s all blue bitch. Always been blue and hopefully will always be blue. If it ever turns purple again, we have serious issues. I don’t want it to be purple again. Ever.
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MB5 hurt his foot again falling off the steps. Or so he says. This has happened 3 times now. Different foot each time. And he limps so I know he’s hurt. Doesn’t forget sometimes or seem to dramatize it. It is what it is – hurt foot and he drags it. Two times before he’s had xrays and it’s been nothing. Do I take him in again? They’re going to think I beat him. Actually, I wonder if it is connected with his poor growth and poor motor skills. Bad bones or something. This first look place is a part of the rehab clinic, so hopefully they explore all the options and find out what the hell is wrong with him. He wants to skip so bad like his friends. Just pitiful. And painful.
Not sure what to do about his other issues. Not so bad like MB4’s. Just like that ole shake and bake theory of the doc’s – that you take the family history of ocd, anxiety, bipolar, and add and put it in a bag and each kid gets shaken around in it at birth. Some pieces stick more than others. All traits are likely to be a part of each kid, however slight. He’s a touch of this and a touch of that. Just enough to drive ME crazy. And his teachers. And I guess it interferes with his learning, so maybe he does need to be seen. But how embarrassing to have to 3 kids to the head doc. Just can’t do it.
And to top it off, MB1 told me that he thinks he’s in a depression and might need some help. I believe the poor kid too. Such low self-esteem. Friends all growing up and moving away. Life changing at a pace he’s not comfortable with. Lives in a world online with very little outside contact other than school and work. He’s very self-conscious about his acne, so I bought him some severe skin treatment stuff. If that doesn’t work, we’ll go to the dermatologist. Should have done that years ago and not made the poor kid suffer. But that takes extra money and that’s hard to come by sometimes.
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Have a little extra from the taxes, and it boiled down to two choices – dishwasher since ours broke 4 years ago, or a new bbq grill since ours is on its last leg. And we use the grill so often since our broiler in the oven doesn’t work. No, I don’t plan on fixing it any time soon. Not important as long as we have a grill. But man oh man wouldn’t a dishwasher be nice.
In the end, I bought two tickets to see George Strait and Reba. My honey likes country, loves George, our 20th anniversary is coming up, and he had wistfully mentioned the concert when he thought the closest they were coming was OMaha. I heard a gal talking about going yesterday, looked it up and saw that they are going to be in KC on the 9th of April, and bought the tickets this morning. I sent MD a text afterward —– section 110 row 3 , happy anniversary — he replied, you better not have. Told him I did and that I loved him. He said he would have been ok with the dishwasher. Told him we have 4 of those at home. Haven’t heard from him since. He has a ref job tonight, so it’ll be late when he gets home. Not sure if he is excited about going or is concerned with how much the tickets cost — cause they weren’t cheap. I almost could have bought a cheap dishwasher. Dammit No, no dammit. MD has never been to a concert, and he works 2 and 3 jobs for us. I don’t feel guilty about spending this money at all. Our anniversary is April 7th, so I thought maybe we could take off that day and spend it in KC exploring the shops or something. Kids’ll be in school that day, but MB3 can watch them afterward and that night. It’s not the romantic trip I had imagined or the new ring or the renewing of our vows, but whatever works, eh? It’ll make him happy. Or at least I thought it would. We’ll see when he gets home.
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I’m rambling huh? Tough. I pay to ramble.
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My plants are all dying. Like they do every winter. SPring better hurry up so I can stick them back outside. I don’t know what i do wrong, but they just don’t thrive indoors. They turn brown and shrivel up and my poor wandering jew gets crunchy because I forget to water it. Then the ones that make it to spring get put outside and magically come back to life again. I’d love to have spider plant. Saw one at the hairdresser’s place. Are they poisonous? Wouldn’t want these piss anywhere they want to cats to munch on some bad plants. Cough.
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MB2 bought a microkorg — it’s a keyboard looking thing — and has informed me that he has a band and they are going to book some recording room time so get their music out there. Cause it’s on his life’s list to have at least one song listened to by a decent amount of people — online listeners would count — and to have them like it. He has taught himself to play piano, and he’s not bad at it. Now, I can’t play anything other than silent night, so compared to me, he’s fantastic, but I still think he’s pretty good overall. And some other kid plays the guitar, and MB2 also plays the bass I guess. Knock yourself out kiddo. Just remember that if you get rich and famous and people start digging into your personal life and I suddenly can’t get a minute’s peace – I’ll not be a happy camper. Not at all. And my gawd are there a lot of skeletons in this family that I would like to remain in the closet. Anyway. When they have a song done, I might throw it up here so ya’ll can take a listen. I’m curious to see if they are any good or not. Not sure I can lie and tell them how great it is if it really sucks. Could you?
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MB3 is away tonight at the Great Wolf Lodge in KC — with his girlfriend. Her parents took about 6 kids down there for her birthday. It’s this place where you do all kinds of neat things, I think mostly water rides and such. Boys in one room and girls in the other. Dad in with the boys and mom with the girls. People at work looked at me as though I was nuts for letting my son go away for the weekend with his girlfriend, but they aren’t really together – right? Right. Besides, he’s a good kid that does everything I ask him to, and then some. He deserves this. It does sort of bother me though that they’ve been dating a year next month. Isn’t that a bit long for a 14 year old? I want him to be happy, but I also want him to sample the buffet and not get stuck with the one course. I guess it’s sweet in a way…. could be high school sweethearts and get married and live happily ever after — but that’s a long shot. Guess we’ll see what happens.
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My boys should be home from work here in a minute, and then they’re off to a friend’s. My cue to head to bed since they have company with them and I ripped that bra off hours ago. No free peep shows here. Besides, how sexy is it when your headlights point in two different directions?