Moody Mama

As if anyone is listening. Damn, that’s pitiful. I’ve lost too many friends. I haven’t made enough new ones. Not close new ones. Not ones I can call at 2am because we have so much to catch up on. After not talking for a week. Or a month. Or three months. I could call J […]

Fuck – that’s a lie. I’ve been working in getting pictures of everyone. I haven’t written an ounce of the update itself. We’re going to wing it. I-A-N —-> I A N is doing pretty well, actually. His heart sucks of course, but it hasn’t changed in 6 months. That’s really good. His pulmonary numbers […]

Everyone is asleep, and I can’t sleep. I just got home from work about an hour ago, and I need time to decompress. Sit alone and in silence, and reflect on life. On the kids. On Emily. On I A N. I’m not having a good go of it lately. Every day is a struggle. […]

Jammies. Tight new socks. Freshly shampooed carpet. Perfectly made Dr. Pepper. Delicious breeze blowing in from the window. I A N is awake, but he and I are the only ones. J A s o n had to go to bed early because he has to be in Joplin by 630am. That means his ass […]

Everyone is asleep. Except me – and probably I A N. He’s afraid tonight because his little heart is in Afib again. He can feel it. He’s not one to fake the funk, and the doc said he would be able to tell it when it was going on. But they took him off the […]

He doesn’t have school on Tuesdays due to the infusion of the exon skipping drug, so we let him stay up late on Mondays. Which means one of us has to stay awake because he can’t get himself to bed. I mean, he’s in his bed – but someone has to turn the fan on, […]

But I rarely do what I’m supposed to do, so what the hell. I want to post an update, so I’ll be gathering pictures tomorrow. I’m excited, I like updates. I get to reflect on all of us, and see how we’ve grown and how we’ve stayed the same. The kids are all grown ass […]

For real. No shitting around. Things went well today. That’s to be celebrated. I a n ‘s doctor appointment was good. His lung scores were better than last time. Heart scores weren’t done because they were done in January when he was sick. The scores I can’t find in his portal. THOSE are the ones […]

All alone and I can’t think of a damn thing to do. I should clean or read or cook, but I would rather sit here and fuck around. I have a doc appt in an hour. Just getting clearance for foot surgery. Might as well get everything done that I needed to get done. This […]

I’m still sad. I’m still depressed. I still have days when I wonder if life would be better without me in it. But I’m also very happy. I’m very much in love with my husband. I live less than one hour from each kiddo. I have a beautiful grandbaby. I lost that pesky 10lbs – […]